the possibility of a dual universe... and the existence of pink blenders

"Why did god create a dual universe?

So he might say,

'Be not like me. I am alone.'

And it might be heard."

These lines have a familiar ring though I've no clue why or where I've heard them before. They bring to mind the implausible but undeniably possible existence of the perfect kitchen appliance.

I am speaking, of course, of the pink blender. Yes, the perfect flamingo pink blender. And I am sitting here at buzz, gulping down wi-fi, euro-style coffee and bright ikea color, no longer having to imagine the impossible. Because the impossible has arrived. Like the possibility of a dual universe, the existence of a pink blender is a beautiful thing. And it is here.

With stealth and grace, I steal glimpses of it out the corner of my eye. I peek at it. Wink at it. Flirt with it. It's just beyond the plump lady with the hair pick and the attitude. (I would have attitude, too, if I worked with kitchenware like that!)

Just pause a moment to think about how sassy and full of impish pride you would be, to serve alongside something as beautiful -- as gorgeous as this.

Does anybody notice my greedy, lusty looks? Do the children pick up on the wild smiles? Will the little 3-year-old figure out that the guy tucked away in the corner of the shop has unnatural thoughts about a piece of glass, plastic and stainless steel? Who can say? All I know is that, if he stumbles this way, I will tell him, "Be not like me. I am alone."

Undeniably.