Omaha Penalty

Yesterday I found out about my co-worker, Maria... She and her husband, who is in the air force, will move to Omaha. To some airbase there... to defend the homeland.

The alternative, she told me, was to risk his deployment to the middle east. So Omaha was the only way to get out of getting sent abroad. "So Omaha is like a penalty for not wanting to relocate to Iraq?" I asked her. No, she explained. It's just the alternative.

"But it's... it's Nebraska!" I exclaimed. "The only entertainment will be Mutual Of Omaha Wildlife specials. And people don't even get mauled on those shows... it's the most dull and lifeless wildlife ever!" I argued. But she told me she was "just going to be brave for the homeland." I had to give her a little Heil Bush salute for that bit of wordwork.

She gave me a slightly defeated look. I immediately went red from embarassment. She hardly had a choice. The excitement of Omaha was certainly less risky than life in Iraq. And she hardly had a choice. Poor Maria. How do you solve a problem like Maria's? The Omaha penalty is a fierce one. But it's the best choice in a world so quickly running dry of choices.