I had a baby with Elvis

Have you ever played the pass-the-time game, which celebrity would you like to hook up with most? Well, I have done it once or twice. There have been a few genetically gifted folks that I wouldn't mind mingling the ol' DNA with. First on my list has always been a tried-and-true classic. You really can't go wrong with wishing for THE KING. Sadly, our Jailhouse Rock romance must've hit rock bottom. Why? Well, I'm not really happy with my Presley lovechild. Luckily, I'm much better than Bristol Palin; I can make this little problem simply go away. She's going to have to deal with it for much longer. Bless her little Alaskan heart.

So, after seeing that Elvis and I wouldn't have the MOST BEAUTIFUL BABY EVER, I decided to give it a go with Nick Lachey. (Such pretty lips!) Sadly, it went even worse....

So, of course, this time, I decided to go "old-fashioned" and mix it up with a girl. Which one to choose? The Material One, of course. Madge was a natural pick. And I've always loved the color of her hair, no matter the year. Our baby looked very Downs Syndromey, though. I suppose that's what happens when Mom is over 45....

After enduring the concept of having knowledge of a woman, I had to get back on the wagon, so I leaped onto Ryan Reynolds. Why? Because he's one of those cute, funny actors that I fall for, despite the occasional sucky movie....

Not bad. I'm really happy that our baby got Ryan's eyes, which I always thought were very twinkly.

As a finale, I've saved my absolute favorite. I decided to scare the living daylights out of my grandparents and create another life with somebody of a different racial group. (Yes, yes, I know that the races are nothing more than a ridiculous social construct, but it's more fun to say it in a dramatic fashion.) So I chose, arguably, one of the most powerful African American that I consider interesting. I chose her mainly because I like her bookclub and her commitment to pleasure reading.

Say hello to little baby Okra....

Fun stuff. Who would you like to mate with? Leave your thoughts in the comments!