daily preciousness

Thursday, June 10, 2004


Today is "dress up like a profession" day and the kids get to show off their precocious little plans for their future vocation. My favorite was one little girl who was dressed in khakis. "What are you today?" I asked and she responded, straight-faced, "I'm a BREEDER!" "Um, Okay," I struggled at composure, smoothing the folds of my Armani sleeve out, "What does a breeder do?"

(I was already thinking to myself, "Oh, Lord, not ANOTHER BREEDER! And this one is going to be a PROFESSIONAL breeder. I guess that means she'll be working for some conservative thinktank organization or something! Great!")

"A breeder takes care of animals in the jungle," she told me. "And I like the jungle and I want to take care of baboons and leopards. That's why I want to be a breeder."

"And do you want to help the animals have babies?" I inquired.

"No, I don't care about that."

"Um. Well, that's usually what breeders specialize in doing: helping animals breed so they can have babies."

"I've never heard of that," she told me, looking slightly upset at the thought. And we went on to a reading of "What are the Olympics?" and talked about sportsmanship and fair play....

Aaaaaaaah, yes, another dream shattered at the old library! Well, my work was accomplished today!


  • Yes oppress their little minds! You bastion of naughtiness!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at June 14, 2004 6:04 PM  

  • Breeders SUCK. Make sure that you bully those awful little breeders.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at June 29, 2004 12:15 PM  

  • Hmm...what better person to teach this little girl about wild animal sex?? Teach them while they're young - that's what I always say. And breeders aren't all bad. We need them to make more gay boys.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at July 01, 2004 12:46 PM  

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