daily preciousness

Saturday, August 28, 2004

kifflom-izated



Have you got your kiff on yet? If not, it's time to get all kifflom-izated up in here. It's life-changing! Here's just a sample:

1. The world is 157 years old - FACT!

2. Dinosaurs are a lie that people believe because they are weak - FACT!

3. You are happy, you just don’t know it - FACT!


Deep, stuff, huh? Well, it changed my life. I know it can change yours.



Remember: The Epsilon Program does not exist in just one time or place.

382 Comments:

  • Shoot the truck with a desert eagle! Fight Kiff!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 09, 2004 12:47 AM  

  • Please clarify what are you sayin.
    What truck?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 09, 2004 11:45 AM  

  • The truck North of Verdant Meadows? Please give more hints R*

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 09, 2004 2:54 PM  

  • Um, I think he means the red truck with a dent on the right fender:

    "Travel through the dawn to the pass pictured in our brochures. Look for a red truck with a dent on the right fender. Raise your left hand and recite the words: "Take me to to my father-father, brother-uncle. Kifflom." We'll do the rest. Because we all know, there is Kifflom and there is Krant, and both be praised."

    But, of course, we would never aim a desert eagle at the truck. That would incur the wrath of both Kifflom and Krant! (Both be praised!)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 09, 2004 3:53 PM  

  • The Roswell crash was on the 4th of July 1947.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 10, 2004 2:20 AM  

  • Roswell, much like the so-called "war on terror," was an elaborate hoax perpetrated by the American Government, New York City's Rockette dance troupe and the Canadian Mounties. However, this does not affect the Epsilon Program, as it does not exist in any one place or time. Therefore, Roswell is irrelevant.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 10, 2004 9:22 AM  

  • Rockstar you annoy me =(
    If Roswell is irrelevant to all of this give more clues!

    By Blogger GAMEFAQ, at December 10, 2004 10:59 AM  

  • So, what do you think Kifflom and Kraff want me to do to this red truck then?

    I have no blindfold and cannot speak.

    By Blogger GAMEFAQ, at December 10, 2004 11:21 AM  

  • Hello? We need more to go on...you haven't led us enough

    By Blogger GAMEFAQ, at December 10, 2004 11:02 PM  

  • What is this whole site about?
    Can anyone at rockstar tell us some more about this?

    By Blogger GAMEFAQ, at December 11, 2004 7:25 AM  

  • O_o

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 12, 2004 1:00 PM  

  • heyheyhey

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 12, 2004 2:30 PM  

  • Kifflom is a time when we all are together with each other. Brother's, let's come.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 12, 2004 2:55 PM  

  • ^ WTF

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 12, 2004 7:58 PM  

  • You must first enter into salvation, then all of the mysteries of the earth will be known unto you and you will finally be accepted into the kingdom of epsilon.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 13, 2004 4:11 PM  

  • I want salvation,praise Kifflom and Krant,may i enter?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 14, 2004 7:55 AM  

  • Will you tell me how to pray?

    By Blogger Coobix, at December 18, 2004 2:45 PM  

  • I havent eaten in days to "clean" myself.
    Im wearing ONLY crosses as tatoo`s.
    Many cash to spend i ave,so 10.000 wont be a problem.
    Im wearing only holy symbols and clothes.
    I lay with 9 new partner`s a week.

    What more can i do? Mr.? Sir.? Holy one?

    Please awnser our cry`s to salvation...

    A ritch wanna-be follower,
    kaduuk

    (praise kifflom and krant)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 19, 2004 7:21 AM  

  • And if you were to fire the cursed desert eagle at the red truck and the wrath should be unleashed, what should we expect?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 29, 2004 2:21 AM  

  • First sorry for my bad english, but you can see kifflom (praise!) sends his light all over the world even to europe.
    My live chanced, cause trees are talkin to me. But they never talked seven times to me, only once.
    Like I was a teenager in oct 1989 when I hitten by love and everything was shaking.
    Thanks for listening to me, brother-brother

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 07, 2005 5:43 AM  

  • wtf means all this with San Andreas-Give a hint

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 10, 2005 6:06 PM  

  • Find Kifflom.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 12, 2005 11:38 AM  

  • where can i find him?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 12, 2005 9:36 PM  

  • Brothers, cant you find me?, lemme help you out





    How much is your soul worth?

    We’ve put a price on salvation and it’s a price worth paying. In fact, we’re running a special. While other major religions tithe 10%, we tithe 8.75%. But if you join Epsilon now, you’ll only be tithed 8.125%. The government takes 33% of your income and what do you get for it? If you answered nothing, you’re on the right track to making yourself a whole person and finally understanding how the universe works, and all that for this special, one time only, low price.

    Finally a religion that is easy to understand. In this day and age, can you afford to spend weeks combing through cryptic text written thousands of years ago when people lived to the ripe age of 23 and were forced to slaughter goats? The Epsilon Tract is easy to understand – it’s still being written. And trust us, it will be in simple, easy to understand bullet points.

    Salvation is here and you don’t need to be intelligent to understand very obvious point – saving souls is like saving money. So you should do it exactly the same way!

    Kifflom! Brother-Uncle, Sister-Aunt!

    KIFFLOM – HAPPINESS IS YOURS! KIFFLOM!

    The future, as told by a descendant of Kraft, hasn’t happened yet, but it will, and will you be ready? Make your commitment now. What level of salvation are you ready for?

    AZUR $10,000 For the person that wants to be saved, but not that much, let us suggest the AZUR pinnacle- Raise your left hand and recite the words: “Take me to my father-father, brother-uncle. Kifflom.” We’ll do the rest. Because we all know, there is Kifflom and there is Kraft, and both be praised. Then send $10,000.

    TOPAZ $25,000 TOPAZ level salvation is for the person who wants a better life, wants a cleaner soul, and is prepared to shop around for a great deal. The TOPAZ level Epsilonist receives all of the benefits of AQUAMARINE level participation, minus some of the conjugal rights, especially on Thursdays.

    AQUAMARINE $79,000 It’s a small price to pay for personal fulfillment. At the AQUAMARINE level, you gain all of the riches of your AZUR and TOPAZ brothers and sisters, however you will be given a special lapel pin and invited to more parties.

    TURQUOISE $100,000 All the TURQUOISE level, complete enlightenment will occur. N It’s not new age! The music is terrible and makes people into suburbanite eunuchs! We’re looking for a new wage. For $100,000 all of the mysteries of the universe will be yours, including a PIN code to enter the Epsilon compound in the hills overlooking San Andreas. TURQUOISE members will take weekly meeting with the Honorable Cris Formage in a relaxed setting with everyone wearing only robes that are easily disrobed.


    THE TWELVE TENETS OF EPSILONISM

    1. The world is 157 years old – FACT!
    2. Dinosaurs are a lie that people believe because they are weak –FACT!
    3. You are happy, you just don’t know it – FACT!
    4. We all come from the same tree – FACT!
    5. Everyone is related to everyone else, except for people with red hair – FACT!
    6. Sperm does not exist – It is a lie spread by biology teachers – along with everything else you have ever been told – FACT!
    7. Men are supposed to lie with nine new partners a week. Women are supposed to lie with six, except in July, when they must lie with five men a day – FACT!
    8. Aliens exist and are present on Earth. If you have a birth mark, you may be descended from Kraft, the famous emperor of the 4th Paradigm – FACT!
    9. Trees talk, but only some people hear them – FACT!
    10. People who believe in something live much longer than atheists, and they have eternal life thrown in for good measure – FACT!
    11. f you believe this and turn your hands and wallet over to EPSILONISM,you’ll live a happy life. Otherwise you are doomed - FACT!
    12. KIFFLOM – HAPPINESS IS YOURS! KIFFLOM!

    If you didn’t know this, maybe you should read the Epsilom Tract.
    Remember – The tract is still being written.

    TESTIMONIALS

    “The Epsilom Tract helped me give up smack” – Jezz Torrent
    “Kifflom changed my life. I used to have a well paid job, a family and good prospects. Now, I’ve given that up to find real meaning in wearing light blue and proclaiming my real religion” – Jonas Ackerman, Blueberry, San Andreas
    “Much better than Inversion Therapy. My mother sleeps much easier now that ‘I’ve joined the fellowship” Kifflom. Jeremy Smith, San Fierro.
    “Religion never worked for me, until now!” Brain Van Ginsberg, Carcer City
    “I was lost. Luckily, now I go to regular meetings of a cult group and give them lots of money, so everything is okay” Jane Pole, Ohio.
    “At first, I was nervous about giving up my identity and sleeping with all of those men, but I really enjoy it now” Mary Fortune, Liberty City
    “Chirs Formage is a genius. It’s a religion without homework!” Morgan August, Los Santos, San Andreas
    “This religion changed the way I looked at everything, especially group sex!” James Waistcoat, Willowfield, San Andreas.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 12, 2005 9:39 PM  

  • wow your good at making no sence

    ctrl-c,ctrl-v known as copy & paste
    we all have this info....we need NEW info

    its funny u say its a religion easy to learn,and not need to scroll trough thousends pages of crypic texts
    well,your right its not thousends pages long,but this is more cryptic than thousend pages put together
    ,so were is the easy part?

    also why say wear robes,while no robes exicts,neither does the blindfold

    The Epsilon Program does not exist in just one time or place.

    i still not ave my kiff on yet,
    if u want to ave more followers and money,plz be more clear,
    "the south"sounds more apealing everyday,ppl will join them if u dont get more info on how to join
    dont be so shy we all like you,but u need to apear,howelse can we worship you

    im willing to spen 100.000 but i will spend it soon,to epsilon or the south....
    for my life does not exist in just one time or place.
    and will end someday

    ,kaduuk

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 13, 2005 6:13 AM  

  • son, you are the closest to my hdeout, come dont give up

    "On top of san andreas"

    Kaduuk Welcome to kifflom, leave your fax # and receive your PIN code

    KIFFLOM!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 19, 2005 8:15 PM  

  • If you see the number one, then you're on your way. Only true believers of Kifflom (praise!!!) can enter the portals. So Keep listening to the trees and I am sure that you'll find your path.
    If you learn the true meaning of Kifflom (praise him!!!) then you can enter the golden portals of Puertas Amarillas Valley.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 24, 2005 9:09 AM  

  • Epsilon program is only a urban legend-

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 26, 2005 3:29 PM  

  • No it is not. The program and Kraff + Kifflom + 1 = Blue ::::)))) oh praise him.

    100k...top'o da hill.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 26, 2005 8:58 PM  

  • This is getting rediculous we have all searched all over san andreas for epsilon head quarters. If you know something just say it if you dont then stop leading us on its just not funny anymore.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 27, 2005 11:40 AM  

  • go to brujas *************

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 27, 2005 9:47 PM  

  • it's no funny-anyone can wrote a SA location whit an anonymous post -

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 28, 2005 12:06 PM  

  •  Now, I've given that up to find real meaning in wearing light blue and proclaiming my real religion. Kifflom!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 29, 2005 7:39 PM  

  • las vegas,nevada 1947

    the ANoDeROMighDA
    crashed in AREA51
    scientist found a body inside the object
    8946813561
    9812247946

    brujas del amarillo
    PRAISE KIFLOMM

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 02, 2005 3:07 PM  

  • R*,don't delude me......I speak for two scool.....we want the solution!(excuse me for my don't correct english because I'm an italian)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 04, 2005 8:55 AM  

  • R* I speak for two school.........BUT IF YOU WANT....I DON'T SPEAK OF THI STORY AT ANYONE.......I WANT + INFORMATION IF YOU CAN'T SPEAK ME WITHOUT REBUS......

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 04, 2005 9:22 AM  

  • guy.....I find a mode to find kifflom!that isn't a joke!I'LL WRITE IT......

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 04, 2005 9:39 AM  

  • please write the mode.....

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 04, 2005 12:45 PM  

  • yes.....but you must wait one week.........because I must know what i must do whit kifflom.....

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 04, 2005 1:18 PM  

  • are you sure that isn't a joke????
    what is the colour of the hair of CJ?????

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 05, 2005 10:43 AM  

  • red

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 06, 2005 11:54 AM  

  • and the colour of the clothes??

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 06, 2005 12:36 PM  

  • i had found a "salvation" building somewhere in san andreas! but i don't remember where!
    posted by marcorizzo(South Italy)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 06, 2005 9:35 PM  

  • you can say what is kifflom? an alien? an human?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 07, 2005 5:58 AM  

  • i don't know the identity of kifflom...now i'm searching the "salvation" building somewhere in san andreas...
    posted by marcorizzo

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 07, 2005 9:17 AM  

  • Rockstar..i have found the salvation building..now what i have to do?
    i want the salvation.. i prise kifflom

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 07, 2005 2:06 PM  

  • where is the "SALVATION" building????

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 09, 2005 6:44 AM  

  • Trees are irrilevant dude
    Aquamarine level is Salvation

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 09, 2005 12:29 PM  

  • and the tree with the number 1?????

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 09, 2005 12:38 PM  

  • and the tree with the number 1?????

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 09, 2005 12:39 PM  

  • trees are irrilevant to meet Kifflom

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 10, 2005 11:09 AM  

  • ok
    you can write what I should do for meet kifflom????please

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 10, 2005 12:12 PM  

  • Join us in something special and become one of the children of Kraff.
    Travel through the dawn to the pass pictured in our brochures. Look for a red truck with a dent on the right fender. Raise your left hand and recite the words: "Take me to to my father-father, brother-uncle. Kifflom." We'll do the rest. Because we all know, there is Kifflom and there is Krant, and both be praised.
    Blindfold required.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 10, 2005 4:57 PM  

  • yes but where is the "Salvation building"??????

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 11, 2005 1:11 PM  

  • i've found the numeber "1"!!! that's it.... for sure!!! what am i supposed to do now?!

    By Anonymous faith, at February 17, 2005 8:55 AM  

  • Well i found the number 1 and the red truck but i don't find the blindfold.Where is it?

    By Anonymous Yakka, at February 17, 2005 10:06 AM  

  • Your questions are silly.you still haven't understand nothing about Kiff.
    praise kifflom and krant

    By Anonymous JB, at February 17, 2005 1:47 PM  

  • Right Jblend but you joined Epsilon!Give me some information!I really want to join Epsilon program!I went with the red truck to the north of San Andreas,then i didn't shoot it because i don't want to fight with Kifflom,now i've got the blindfold but how i must "use" it?Help this poor italian boy!Please!I praise kifflom and Krant!Posted by Yakka.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at February 17, 2005 3:05 PM  

  • Ehm no i went to the "top of san andreas".Excuse me...Posted by yakka

    By Anonymous Yakka, at February 17, 2005 3:18 PM  

  • Truth said me:"23".23=2+3=5=fifth letter in greek alphabet=Epsilon
    23X3=69
    Posted by ""

    By Anonymous Yakka, at February 17, 2005 4:25 PM  

  • hey man?! what's wrong with you?!?i'm not jblend!! i'm italian too!... fool!!!

    By Anonymous JB, at February 17, 2005 5:58 PM  

  • Hmm..i'm italian too.But which red truck i must find to join epsilonism?There are too much trucks with a dent on the right fender around san andreas..and i can't find the pass picture in the depliants.give more hints!praise kifflom and krant

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 18, 2005 3:45 AM  

  • The red truck at angel pine or in shady creeks...And,the number 1,check for a "mulino"...

    By Anonymous Yakka, at February 18, 2005 4:23 AM  

  • Yes,yes,you're not jblend but you're jbradley...

    By Anonymous yakka, at February 18, 2005 4:25 AM  

  • I didn't think you're italian because you live in America...sorry...

    By Anonymous yakka, at February 18, 2005 4:40 AM  

  • I saw the brochures,they're really interesting me but what is the right portal to pass trough the dawn?

    By Anonymous yakka, at February 19, 2005 6:59 PM  

  • Damn! I'm becoming crazy! I want the truth!
    How CJ can join in Epsilon?!?!!
    I tried but i failed... ;_;

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 20, 2005 9:15 AM  

  • I went to Arco del Oeste and tomorrow i woke up at Los Santos

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 21, 2005 7:32 AM  

  • Where can i join?

    By Anonymous Yakka, at February 24, 2005 8:57 AM  

  • Please answer me and take me to my father-father brother-uncle!Praise Kifflom.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at February 25, 2005 11:54 AM  

  • Right now im not joining this fucking colt, r* is pissing me off, i aint apart of this bullshit and i just want to no what the fuck r u doing making people trying to find an easter egg praise sum fake ass people just for a $50 game, this is retared, sik ass cunts

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 27, 2005 5:39 PM  

  • Ya i said it, what the fuck r u gonna do? Ill shoot you with a Desert Eagle!

    By Anonymous cHaoz, at February 27, 2005 5:40 PM  

  • Shut up,cHaoz,and praise Kifflom and Krant.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at February 28, 2005 1:12 PM  

  • I'm sure i found the golden portal.What must i do now?Answer me!

    By Anonymous Yakka, at March 03, 2005 9:00 AM  

  • I don't think you're going to get the info needed from jblend by grabbing him in a chokehold like Snake does. Keep it going. I hope someone some day will join the program. This site is what I wake up to these days. Daily news.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 04, 2005 6:34 AM  

  • 08/03/05-Finally ive got the brochure.Now i can join in the Epsilon Program!

    By Anonymous 4, at March 08, 2005 7:36 PM  

  • I've got the brochures too.I received it from Toreno and from the Lil Ale Inn.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at March 10, 2005 7:53 AM  

  • Good 4!i've received ur mail message.Soon i will send you the lasts information about Kiff and a copy of the Epsilon tract,you only have to wait some day,until that day praise Kifflom and Krant-
    Now you now what i mean

    By Anonymous Chris, at March 10, 2005 11:29 AM  

  • How did you got the blindfold ??

    By Anonymous Pippo, at March 12, 2005 7:51 AM  

  • eh how did you get the BROCHURE?

    oh, praise kiff and krant.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 12, 2005 2:16 PM  

  • In Toreno's ranch.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at March 13, 2005 2:34 PM  

  • Deeeee i'm the king of the world!I've beat the system deeeee!Fuck you Finardi & Carminati and fuck to Cris too!Deeeee I'll kill you!!!!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 13, 2005 3:33 PM  

  • And how ?

    By Anonymous Pippo, at March 14, 2005 9:17 AM  

  • Kiff will punish you...

    By Anonymous Pippo, at March 14, 2005 2:04 PM  

  • <_<...What a...

    By Anonymous Yakka, at March 16, 2005 7:26 AM  

  • Deeeee i will punish Kiff i'm the king of the world deeeee!
    P.S. Fuck Finardi,Carminati,Guidorossi!DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 16, 2005 8:57 AM  

  • Kifflom! I dragged a woman with a sky-blue shirt and red hair out of a red intruder with a dent on it. It happened on the intersection right before you enter Red County. It had a dent on the right fender. Kifflom! Am I on the right path? Praise Kiff!

    JSomme

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 17, 2005 6:18 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Anonymous Belleville, at March 19, 2005 5:32 PM  

  • you should stop this dee

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 20, 2005 12:45 PM  

  • DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I'll never stop that!DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

    By Anonymous Belleville, at March 21, 2005 11:08 AM  

  • DeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeCris Formage is a super-transexual omosexual deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee he fucked Kifflom!Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I'm a blue and red man that live in Blueberry and you've got a fucking Intruder in your deep ass!Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

    By Anonymous Belleville, at March 21, 2005 3:49 PM  

  • I'll never have kids. Ever.

    JSomme

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 21, 2005 5:49 PM  

  • When will he stop?He's a real "DEEEminator".Well,go to mullholland intersection,wait and you''l find a red car with a dent.Take it and go to the highest hill at west.Now see what happen...

    By Anonymous Yakka, at March 22, 2005 1:11 PM  

  • Do find that car you need to be all blue weared and have cross tatoos lie with some bitches every week and so on ?

    Thanks for all the info Yakka !!

    By Anonymous Pippo, at March 23, 2005 3:57 AM  

  • No Pippo you can wear anything you want...But excuse me,its the montgomery intersection,not mulholland intersection.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at March 23, 2005 6:41 AM  

  • Ehm Pippo no you must wear the blue clothes of Didier Sachs,and a pair of Suburban's baseball shoes.And it is Mulholland Intersection.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at March 24, 2005 10:05 AM  

  • For gods sake judt tell everyone what they want to know!!!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 24, 2005 11:32 AM  

  • What?I'm italian,what does"sake"mean?

    By Anonymous Yakka, at March 24, 2005 11:39 AM  

  • KIFFLOM - HAPPINESS IS YOURS! KIFFLOM!

    The future, as told to us by a descendant of Kraff, hasn't happened yet, but it will, and will you be ready?
    Make your commitment now. What level of salvation are you ready for?


    AZUR $10,000

    For the person that wants to be saved, but not that much, let us suggest the AZUR pinnacle. Raise your left hand and recite the words: "Take me to my father-father, brother-uncle. Kifflom." We'll do the rest. Because we all know, there is Kifflom and there is Krant, and both be praised. Then send $10,000.

    TOPAZ $25,000
    Topaz level salvation is for the person who wants a better life, wants a cleaner soul, and is prepared to shop around for a great deal. The Topaz level Epsilonist recieves all of the benefits of Aquamarine level participation, minus some of the conjugal rights, especially on Thursdays.

    AQUAMARINE $79,000
    It's a small price to pay for personal fulfillment. At the Aquamarine level, you gain all of the riches of your AZUR and TOPAZ brothers and sisters, however you will be given a special lapel pin and invited to more parties.

    TURQUOISE $100,000
    At the tuquoise level, complete enlightenment will occur. It's not new age! That music is terrible and makes people into suburbanite eunuchs! We're looking for a new wage. For $100,000 all of the mysteries of the universe will be yours, including a PIN code to enter the Epsilon compound in the hills overlooking San Andreas. Turquoise members will take weekly meeting with The Honorable Cris Formage in a relaxed setting with everyone wearing only robes that are easily disrobed. Purity of the body and spirit must be proven weekly.

    By Anonymous Cris Formage, at March 25, 2005 2:50 PM  

  • Well. I'm ready. It's soooo easy. It's SOOOO easy.


    Or is it?

    Kifflom!!

    JSomme, Epsilonist.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 25, 2005 9:54 PM  

  • You can all join me on undernet #epsilonprogram and be enlightened.

    Kifflom!

    JSomme, Epsilonist.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 25, 2005 10:03 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Anonymous Pippo, at March 30, 2005 5:50 AM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Anonymous Pippo, at March 30, 2005 6:29 AM  

  • Pippo puoi parlarmi in italiano?Non ho capito nulla di questo undernet.Cmq io sono su www.forumfree.net/?c=38406 e su www.forumfree.net/?c=51846.

    P.S. Excuse me for my italian speaking Chris Formage.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at March 31, 2005 8:54 AM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Anonymous Belleville, at March 31, 2005 9:42 AM  

  • Why don't you shut up your ass,mr. Belleville?You're terribly boring us all.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at March 31, 2005 9:52 AM  

  • Solo italiani qua ? eccheccazzo

    Only italians here ? whatdafuck

    By Anonymous Pippo, at March 31, 2005 12:22 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Anonymous Pippo, at March 31, 2005 12:27 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Anonymous Pippo, at March 31, 2005 12:27 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Anonymous Pippo, at March 31, 2005 12:28 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at March 31, 2005 2:11 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 01, 2005 1:30 PM  

  • kifflom is a joke?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 01, 2005 6:49 PM  

  • Is kifflom a joke?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 01, 2005 7:01 PM  

  • Hello!
    Where is pamphlet? torreneo does not give null... for case and the map
    to me of the 7 points?

    By Blogger HeartBreakerKid, at April 02, 2005 3:25 AM  

  • Where is pamphlet? torreno does not give null... for case and the map to me of the 7 points?

    By Blogger HeartBreakerKid, at April 02, 2005 4:04 AM  

  • The map with 7 points may give you some help.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 02, 2005 7:07 AM  

  • it explains to you better?

    By Blogger HeartBreakerKid, at April 02, 2005 7:23 AM  

  • Yakka you is italian???

    By Blogger HeartBreakerKid, at April 02, 2005 10:10 AM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger HeartBreakerKid, at April 02, 2005 10:12 AM  

  • you answer!!!!!!!!

    By Blogger HeartBreakerKid, at April 03, 2005 5:25 AM  

  • Tsk tsk what a bad english!Yes,I'm italian.Some of the points on the map are very important to solve the mistery.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 03, 2005 8:48 AM  

  • Tsk tsk what a bad english!Yes,I'm italian.Some of the points on the map are very important to solve the mistery.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 03, 2005 8:49 AM  

  • Tsk tsk what a bad english!Yes,I'm italian.Some of the points on the map are very important to solve the mistery.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 03, 2005 8:49 AM  

  • Tsk tsk what a bad english!Yes,I'm italian.The points on the map are very important to solve the mistery(maybe Area 69 isn't).

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 03, 2005 8:51 AM  

  • Ehm excuse but my computer had a problem so I sent three messages

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 03, 2005 8:54 AM  

  • Deeeee ti sta bene hai un computer preistorico deee!

    By Anonymous Belleville, at April 03, 2005 9:38 AM  

  • excuse me for english!
    I have seen the map at toreno's ranch and at lil probe inn but i haven't find anyone. Please! I wants to meet Kifflom, i wants to join the epsilonism!
    I praise Kifflom!

    By Blogger IiN, at April 03, 2005 10:56 AM  

  • I don't know the solution!But the map show some interesting points.Dress only blue clothes of didiersach,have red hair,dress white gymnastic shoes of suburban's,have a cross jewel of didiersach,have minimum fat and muscle stats,have all cross and rip tatoos(4 tatoo + 2 secret tatoos in the ghost world),dress a binco's blindfold on your left eye,don't have any clock,have only a desert eagle taken from the roulotte camp near area 69 as weapon,take a night visor from the south of san fierro,but don't take in your hand the derst eagle and the visor.Now go to mulholland intersection and find a red car with a dent drived from a person that dress blue clothes and has red hair.Some people on my forum had success in this.When you find the car go to the hill west from the mulholland intersection and search Truth,your hippy friend.I don't have the grave tatoo,so i didn't tried yet but i'll do this soon.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 03, 2005 11:18 AM  

  • Thanks a lot. I have all, but i haven't the secret tatoo of the ghost world. E' necessario averli?.
    I must go and search Truth with car or walk? Thank, thanks.
    i praise Kifflom.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 03, 2005 12:05 PM  

  • Thanks, but I search Truth with the car or walk? Excuse me for English but I'm italian.
    Thanks a lot again!
    I praise Kifflom.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 03, 2005 12:09 PM  

  • we've been discussing the epsilonprogram for quite some time on irc, undernet #playstation

    if you chat to Yode he knows quite a lot about the subject...see you there. KIFFLOM!!!

    JSomme.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 03, 2005 12:52 PM  

  • I must search Truth with the car or walk? And the brochures is "esssenziale" to meet the red car and to meet Kifflom?.
    Ah... to finish, Mullhoand or montgomery? Thanks for your answer.
    Excuse me for english but i'm italian.
    I praise Kifflom.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 03, 2005 1:20 PM  

  • also I am Italian...

    By Blogger HeartBreakerKid, at April 03, 2005 5:29 PM  

  • You must meet Truth with the red car...It's mulholland intersection.The map isn't essential,you may see it or not:it doesn't change.But i now don't find the red car...maybe did i made some error?Jsomme how can i join..."undernet"?I have a mail server pop3 i think...does it change something?Tell me how enter undernet.

    P.S. Are you really an Epsilon member?

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 03, 2005 5:34 PM  

  • who???

    By Blogger HeartBreakerKid, at April 04, 2005 4:40 AM  

  • I was talking 'bout Jsomme...Jsomme,i don'y understand nothing of undernet,can you reveal us the solution in this blog?Please and praise.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 04, 2005 7:33 AM  

  • Thanks. But, the secret tatoo is essential to meet Kifflom?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 04, 2005 8:03 AM  

  • Yes it's essential.But you must have all tatoo,don't worry if they're on the same part of cj's body,they make a weird symbol(that you can't see).

    Jsomme answer me!You're my only hope!!

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 04, 2005 8:24 AM  

  • I know how to join undernet. download mIRC Yakka.

    By Anonymous Pippo, at April 04, 2005 8:41 AM  

  • Pippo puoi mettermi l'URL completa del sito dove c'è la schermata scarica e connettiti o qualcosa del genere?io su undernet.org non capisco niente!

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 04, 2005 8:56 AM  

  • hi there.... i've red all of this s*^t! do you really think that you can find the red-truck, or kifflom, or Truth in that silly way?! fools!!! your friend it's a liar!! tell him to show some photos of Truth... you'll see.... he's making joke of all of you!!! instead, if it's true, please link us the site where we can find photos of truth cause we are too doubtful! bye

    By Anonymous Faith, at April 04, 2005 4:31 PM  

  • Faith have you found the Epsilonism

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 05, 2005 11:35 AM  

  • I guess not -_-.For now try to find the car.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 05, 2005 2:18 PM  

  • Don't worry,i'll ask him to do some photos soon ;) (if possible).Wait.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 05, 2005 2:34 PM  

  • thanx yakka... i'll wait for that! see ya!

    By Anonymous Faith, at April 05, 2005 4:38 PM  

  • the red car to north of interlaces to north of los santos not pass... why???
    answers endured!!!

    By Blogger HeartBreakerKid, at April 07, 2005 9:43 AM  

  • Ma Truth lo trovo sulla collina più alta di Los Santos? Più su c'è scritto [tradotto] andare più su. Inteso come Nord di SA o un monte o una collina? Se così fosse allora perchè avete detto a Ovest...

    chiaritemi le idee

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 09, 2005 7:54 AM  

  • forse e' nord-ovest...

    By Blogger HeartBreakerKid, at April 09, 2005 4:24 PM  

  • Praise Jehova. There is no other god than the one and only.The maker of this world,Jehova loves you,and he knows that all this werid Kifflom-crap is only there to make you all blind, and break god's rules. Scientology standing behind that Epsilonism. They are out for your money and nothing else. Who can be so dumm to believe the world is only 157 years old...? It must be very very dumm people who believe that, so the cultmembers average Iq must be less than 69 i guess.... thx. Follow Jehova! Find the only truth!Kifflom is pure lying.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 10, 2005 9:45 AM  

  • ..This is useless!!!
    Everyone is lost because of this sh*t...we need more clues to join Epsilon...
    (sorry for my bad english..i'm fuck*** italian,too)

    By Anonymous The Lonely One, at April 10, 2005 2:27 PM  

  • Yo anonymous...two posts up..yes you...you're happy, you just don't know it. KIFFLOM!! Happiness is yours! KIFFLOM!! Artists create wonderful things without appreciating what they're making. The Epsilon Program is an art. Timless. We celebrate it and sing and laugh and dance. KIFFLOM!!

    JSomme, caneman.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 10, 2005 3:16 PM  

  • LOL, non ho capito bene... troverò solo Truth e non Kifflom?
    LLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

    Uffa io volevo trovare Kfflom,guidare dischi volanti...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 10, 2005 4:03 PM  

  • giudare i diski volanti???? che caxxata...
    driving a UFO??? this is a fakier

    By Blogger HeartBreakerKid, at April 10, 2005 4:33 PM  

  • mi spiagate?
    can you explain,please?

    By Anonymous The Lonely One, at April 10, 2005 4:53 PM  

  • cosa??
    Whay??

    By Blogger HeartBreakerKid, at April 11, 2005 11:59 AM  

  • perche' dici che e' una cazzata?hai fatto tutta la menata?°_°

    how can you say that?are you an epsilonist!?°_°

    By Anonymous The Lonely One, at April 11, 2005 2:46 PM  

  • no....assolutamente... guidare i dischi volanti lo e'...

    By Blogger HeartBreakerKid, at April 12, 2005 8:46 AM  

  • kifflom!
    its been a while ,
    ive found many epsilon believers in san andreas,
    i have even travled to carcer city,in a difrent life
    and seen the favorite drink
    ive found the chapel,were epsilon meet in las venturas

    after reading into the history of epsilon in san andreas
    some facts ave apeard...

    1.sperm does exict and ive seen it
    its in the woods south of back o`beyond-FACT!

    2.the world is older than 157 years,count the year-rings on the tree`s-FACT!

    3.criss formage is not human FACT!

    4.religion is used to let ppl think only happy toughts-FACT!

    5.a earthquake ave hitted san andreas-FACT!

    6.barbers are followers of epsilon-FACT!

    7.girlfrinds can be scared of epsilon-FACT!

    8.The los aztecas varrios does not exist in just one time or place-FACT

    9.some stars are not supose to be-FACT

    10.cash is not the way-FACT!

    criss isnt save anymore,the end is near.
    when it arives criss cant help u.
    put ur faith in:kifflom,krant but not in criss,
    for his life has ended before it
    was started,he is not in 1 time

    -kaduuk-

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 13, 2005 9:22 AM  

  • Don't talk like a @#*&%$£ , just tell us the complete solution.We'll thanks you for centuries and centuries...

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 15, 2005 12:13 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Anonymous Mr.Belleville, at April 15, 2005 1:14 PM  

  • just tell us the location of the blindfold that u have 2 where when near the red truck in san andreas please, we need more clues!! praise kifflom

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 16, 2005 7:31 AM  

  • maybe its the eyepatch from binco, or maybe you have to stand where the sun blinds you.

    By Anonymous not jeffrey, at April 18, 2005 12:12 PM  

  • maybe its the eyepatch from binco, or maybe you must stand where the sun blinds you.

    By Anonymous not jeffrey, at April 18, 2005 12:14 PM  

  • The Day is come.
    I'll take the Red Dented car.
    Truth, wait for me.
    I'll move to you.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 18, 2005 1:29 PM  

  • i dont enjoy the people who are pretending to be jblend, you guys are not nice at all, jblend please come back!

    By Anonymous you guys might suck!, at April 18, 2005 2:34 PM  

  • kifflom is near, red dented truck is over, truth was founded, black knight too. now i'm in puerta amarillas valley and i'll go through the sky door.


    kifflom is revealed to me!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 18, 2005 4:13 PM  

  • You must leave your ps2 on for 3 days and 6 nights, save in your house and sit with the lights out!

    By Anonymous Kraffdabra, at April 19, 2005 12:57 AM  

  • what do you mean? if cj doesn't eat, he will die!i think so, I havent eaten in days to "clean" myself, at the same time i layed with nine girls for keep cj alive. i have purificated myself.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 19, 2005 4:44 AM  

  • purify yourself in the waters of lake minnetonka.

    By Anonymous Chasmell, at April 19, 2005 11:25 AM  

  • And just who is this rockstar i keep hearing so much about?

    By Anonymous uncle funkleberry, at April 19, 2005 11:26 AM  

  • Anyone has really found the Epsilonist in San andreas? In Blueberry, in San fierro, in willowfield???

    By Anonymous Burton, at April 20, 2005 4:49 AM  

  • the epsilon backpacker has a "brown streak" in his hair, does that tell you anything?

    By Anonymous carlton division 12 frontal lobotomy friend, at April 21, 2005 12:19 PM  

  • what ?

    By Anonymous pippo, at April 21, 2005 12:35 PM  

  • yes he tells me something like: kifflom.. are you interesting in religion.. epsilon.. ecc ecc.
    he has told me this. then i follewed him a little but he punched a cop who killed him! nice! the other one started screaming and all the people do the same, runnign around!

    By Anonymous Burton, at April 21, 2005 3:45 PM  

  • Burton: Did you really have this happen to you? Or are you just fooling with our minds?!?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 22, 2005 9:23 AM  

  • Jeffrey, I am amazed that you were SO AHEAD of everyone else on this. How did you know? Are you working for the company?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 22, 2005 9:24 AM  

  • Don't pretend to be Jblend! That's not fair to him and it's not fair to us. I want to hear what Jblend says about this.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 22, 2005 9:25 AM  

  • i'm totally true, the epsilon backpackers have done what i've said. all it's true. you can try to rum nearly him or running to him, like pushing and he will tell you the same! i'm serious!!!

    By Anonymous burton, at April 22, 2005 10:07 AM  

  • But im not jeffrey!

    By Anonymous im seriously not jeffrey, at April 22, 2005 2:32 PM  

  • who are you anonymous?

    By Anonymous anonymousse, at April 22, 2005 2:34 PM  

  • you have three posts each within a minute of themselves.
    are you a robot?
    9:24, what company?
    Burton you are correct, and they also run away if a redhead tries to talk to them!!!

    By Anonymous Kalamari Katamari Kasanarai, at April 22, 2005 2:36 PM  

  • It is ...

    By Anonymous burton, at April 24, 2005 6:37 AM  

  • no difficult

    By Anonymous burton, at April 24, 2005 6:37 AM  

  • bye
    Kalamari Katamari Kasanarai

    By Anonymous burton, at April 24, 2005 6:38 AM  

  • Burton bertone sense make you no.

    By Anonymous Fabric concious being, at April 24, 2005 7:21 PM  

  • Calibrate my senses,at dawn i am blinded by sun, blue suit, red hair i look like a clown.
    The pass pictured in the brochure, im not sure, i havent seen that brochure.
    Talking in riddles will get you nowhere, but it sure is fun.
    You need to get out more, find some friends, have a party.
    A pirate clown am I.
    Violence is not the answer, when the sandstorm starts will you be prepared?
    Take a picture to remember.
    Live together in harmony, send your buddies on a scavenger hunt.
    Are you tired yet?
    My radio chooses its own station, it likes hard rock, while i am listening to the birds.
    No matter what you say Frankie IS punk-rock.
    I disappear when you view me from the side.
    5:32 a.m., stalk me.
    Where are you going?
    Taku is your friend, dont leave him alone for so long or he might run away.
    Eat candy, but not too much!!!
    I do love you, its true.

    By Anonymous Balance, at April 24, 2005 7:32 PM  

  • You fiend!
    Dilapidated automobile...

    By Anonymous Miles of uncharted desert...mmmmmdessert!, at April 24, 2005 7:34 PM  

  • Does the sun blind you at dawn?
    is 6 o'clock the dawn?
    Where is the pass?
    Jblend, help us out here!
    Thank you in advance, your friend Jason

    By Anonymous Jason, at April 25, 2005 12:30 AM  

  • Jblend,we are really tired.This is not a joke:we are TIRED.Please,please,please,tell us the solution to this videogame secret.This is not the real life,it's only a game,so tell us what and how we must do and we will thanks you and let you relax.Thanks everyway.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at April 25, 2005 9:08 AM  

  • Has jblend even posted here in a while?
    does he even bother reading this?
    if he did post, how would we know its him?
    questions you must ask yourself.
    Kifflom and Krant!

    By Anonymous Balanced Being, at April 25, 2005 4:09 PM  

  • hmmm i think he read this blog no more...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 25, 2005 4:19 PM  

  • I bet my ass he's reading it. I predict he doesn't care, but he's reading it.

    Rockstar will eventually reveal the truth.

    Kifflom!

    JSomme, county sheriff....assistant....inmate...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 26, 2005 7:33 AM  

  • u suck cock kifflom

    By Anonymous piss head, at April 26, 2005 1:27 PM  

  • Somewhere in the district of columbia, jblend laughs.
    He knows we are all taking this too seriously.

    By Anonymous Wraith of Farrakhan, at April 26, 2005 1:45 PM  

  • boys i think 2 things:
    1) probabily there isn't an epsilon solution, rockstar put the input on the web as a marketing research to use this as an experiment to put it really in gta sa for PC
    2) the epsilon program exists

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 29, 2005 2:30 PM  

  • I use big words and contradict myself.

    By Anonymous anonymous again, at April 30, 2005 1:40 PM  

  • tommyv's a douche!

    By Anonymous mikhail, at May 01, 2005 10:26 PM  

  • Maybe i will contact Four...the one who has the solution...Wait and praise.

    By Anonymous Yakka, at May 02, 2005 7:49 AM  

  • Follow me: Toreno's map, unreal Tree, shoot..sparks. thermal goggles.. these are all clues. Think'bout, idiot.

    By Anonymous I wanna help u., at May 04, 2005 4:07 PM  

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