daily preciousness

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

I fought the law...

I got lost in Clarendon Sunday on my way to Georgetown. I took a wrong turn and wound up going the WRONG WAY on a one-way street! The police officer who pulled me over was shockingly nice, though. I was expecting a DWI check (I was sober at the time, though maybe a little drowsy.)

She gave me really good directions and made sure that no oncoming traffic hit me as I did a U-turn and went on my merry (embarrassed) way.

Even though that pig was a woman, she was sort of okay, you know?

She didn't phone in my license or check my registration or insurance or anything like that. Maybe she was on her way to get some donuts and she couldn't be bothered. I don't know. All I do know is that I need to be more careful on the twisted rabbit warren of streets that is Northern Virginia. That and IFTLATLW.

That's cool inter-web speak for "I fought the law and the law won," even though I'm not sure if that really applies here.

Saturday, November 02, 2002

the SIAA

It's shameful, I know. More than a month has gone by and I haven't uploaded anything to my preciousness. But I have a decent excuse.

At Chez Jeffrey, one of the roomies has absconded with the cables that my computer needs to dial-up. Why? I don't know. I think it's part of the vast squirrel conspiracy. No. I don't *think* it. I KNOW it.

At the Georgetown run Sunday, one of the guys mentioned that he'd run over a squirrel on his way there. "I braked, but I couldn't tell if I'd hit him. So I'm lookin' through the back mirror and I see him scampering along, just using his two front legs!"

I took him by the shoulder and told him that it was okay. That it was just one less hunter/seeker/assasin in the world. "What?" he asked, looking a little stunned.

I explained it all to him. I told him the story. The "malfunctioning" fan in the college apartment. The beady little eyes peering at me around the corner in Hong Kong. The "loose gravel" at the Eastern edge of the Great Wall visitors center ledge. The "accidental" runaway rickshaw that kidnapped both me and my parents.

And with the hidden inclusion of the new squirrel information awareness agency, we're in a whole heap of trouble. (Yeah, yeah, I know that squirrel isn't actually in the title, but we all know it's there in the fine print. Yes, I know you know it too, Jim.)

We're in for big trouble. I mean it this time, too.